{"id":5033,"date":"2024-02-13T21:20:38","date_gmt":"2024-02-14T03:20:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.circalegacy.com\/?p=5033"},"modified":"2024-02-13T21:20:38","modified_gmt":"2024-02-14T03:20:38","slug":"how-to-interview-family-members-except-your-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.circalegacy.com\/how-to-interview-family-members-except-your-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Interview Family Members, Except Your Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

People often ask me how to interview family members to record their stories and memories. It’s a topic near and dear to my heart, so I am happy to share some tips and lessons I’ve learned over the years.<\/p>\n

Before we get to the advice, I just learned a valuable lesson. It really surprised me. It’s incredibly fun and rewarding to interview your grandparents, but interviewing your parents can be really difficult.<\/p>\n

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How to Interview Family Members<\/h2>\n

I spent the night at my parent’s farm to interview a 100-year-old man in my hometown. Over two days, I spent about five hours talking with the man. (I’ll write about that experience soon. The picture to the right is me interviewing Laverne. He was awesome.) In all that time, there wasn’t an awkward silence or uncomfortable moment. The conversation flowed and was full of laughter and positive energy. I had a wonderful time, and I believe he did, too.<\/p>\n

Since I had all my equipment with me–a microphone, tripod light stand, and phone–I decided to practice what I preach. I asked to interview my parents when I returned to their house.<\/p>\n

Mom hadn’t showered and said she’d do it some other time. Dad was a good sport and agreed to an interview. I suggested he sit in his favorite recliner and get comfortable. I attached the microphone to his shirt, turned the ring light on, and pulled out my trusty list of 200+ interview questions<\/a>. I asked my daughter Violet to choose five questions she could ask him.<\/p>\n

I started the interview like I usually do — Could you tell me your name, date of birth and any stories you heard about the day you were born? Getting your family members to say their names and birthdates on the record is excellent for videos you might create.<\/p>\n

In addition, it’s an easy way to get everyone talking. Even shy personalities can quickly answer this question. Plus, some people have fascinating stories about their birthdays! Next, I ask for the story behind their name. Invariably, this warms them up, and they share stories about their parents or childhoods.<\/p>\n

There Will be Awkward Moments<\/h2>\n

Dad and I talked about his mom, Betty, and started down memory lane. Violet tapped on my leg, reminding me that SHE was supposed to be the interviewer. So, I let her ask the next question. She picked a question I would never have asked my dad, mainly because I know his life history and would not want to make him uncomfortable. As a granddaughter, Violet didn’t have that history. She just picked questions she wanted the answers to.<\/p>\n

I quickly learned that interviewing my parents was much more complicated than any other interview. As their child, I know too much about them. I’ve heard their favorite stories all my life. I know many of the answers. Even more importantly, I know what topics and memories might be uncomfortable or awkward.<\/p>\n

As a grandchild, Violet didn’t have any of those preconceived ideas. She could innocently ask him any questions, just as I had done with the 100-year-old man earlier in the day. Ignorance is bliss for an interviewer.<\/p>\n

Looking back, I noticed something else that happened during the interview. My dad would sometimes hesitate when sharing his stories. He was conscious of me being in the room listening. He edited and shortened his answers, almost apologetically, because he knew I already knew the answers to what Violet was asking.<\/p>\n

It was a huge learning moment for me. Sometimes the solution is not learning how to interview family members but rather how to find someone to do it for you.<\/p>\n

So, to sum it up, if you want a lengthy, honest interview with your parents, ask someone else to interview them. You’ll get completely different answers, and they will likely enjoy telling their stories to a fresh, interested audience.<\/p>\n

Questions to Ask Your Family Members<\/h2>\n

I’m not suggesting you don’t interview your parents. Indeed, try it! I’ll keep interviewing mine. I’m aware that an outsider might get different stories and new details.<\/p>\n

If you need some starter questions to interview your family members, try some of my favorites:<\/p>\n

Family History<\/h3>\n